How to Connect with Kids | Just Add Silliness

We all want kids to thrive and be full of joy, right?

As parents and childcare workers, connecting with the kids in our lives is crucial. It promotes their mental health and happiness, and it’s also essential if we hope to have any positive impact on their lives. If that connection is not there, then our ability to help them grow is minimized.

There are endless ways that we can bolster this connection with children and help bring joy to their lives. But there is one way that seems kind of obvious at first, but does not get enough credit and it is probably underutilized. It’s something that can be added to almost any activity, no matter how mundane or boring, and turn it into something that strengthens your relationship with the children in your life.

In order to connect with kids, no matter what you are doing with them, JUST. ADD. SILLINESS.

Silliness is the not-so-secret language of children. It comes naturally to them. When teaching them a subject they may not be interested in, adding silliness can pique their interest.

When it’s time to clean up toys, adding silliness can make the cleaning a little more fun for them. and a little less pain-staking for you too! Silliness is one of the many spices of life that just makes everything more enjoyable.

So how does adding silliness help you connect better with kids:

1. It engages their brain with something that otherwise didn’t interest them
2. Suddenly an activity is much more fun and intriguing
3. By sharing silly experiences with them, your bond is strengthened
4. It makes you and the kids laugh together which releases endorphins that lift moods

Bonus: The lesson, cleaning/chores, or otherwise mundane task that was being done now has a positive connotation in their minds. Thus, they are more likely to have retained the instruction that you were giving them. AND more likely to be engaged the next time the activity or lesson comes around.

Visual Learner? Watch this YouTube video:

1. Silliness Can be Magical 

Sorry-not-sorry, I have to share a little story time (If you’re not interested, just skip ahead. It won’t hurt my feelings and I’ll never know!). A few months back I was talking to my husband about what I am teaching the kids I currently nanny for and I was explaining that we’re learning about the solar system. So, I added silliness when I would describe the different attributes of each planet. For instance, when I talk about Jupiter, I use a big booming voice and make my body appear larger since it’s the largest planet in the solar system. I would also walk as if my body was heavy and pretend to spin on an axis ‘around the sun.’ As I was telling him this, he reminded me that being silly is my “magic.”

The silliness is the magic because it makes learning enjoyable. It’s captivating. Kids see you having fun teaching, want to learn more, and enjoy their time with you. When you are goofy while teaching a potentially dry/boring subject, it makes what they are learning more digestible. Imagine for a moment if your teacher or parents would have used silliness to engage with you. You may have responded more positively to a school subject you hated. This is of course true an most situations with children, even outside of teaching.

2. ‘How to’ Add Silliness

I know it doesn’t come naturally to everyone, but you don’t have to be a professional comedian or become a different person. If you have no idea where to start, just feed off the kids’ silliness. Kids don’t have a problem being silly and we could learn a thing or two from them. Observe what makes them laugh and play off that. Some kids laugh at funny faces, others love funny voices, and some just love to be chased around the yard or house.

If you are still struggling about what to do, here are some general tricks that work with most kids.

a. Turn on music and dance with them. Who cares how you look?

Ok, so maybe you care how you look but the kids don’t! If you’re a bad dancer, even better! The goal is to look funny, and let’s face it – bad dancing is pretty darn funny looking. There is a song you can look up called ‘shake your silly’s out.’ It gives you and the kids instructions on how to get your body moving. Shake your groove thang and watch them follow suit.

b. Look Up a Silly Kid Joke

‘Dad’ jokes are the best. The more cringe worthy the better. Another option is to ask them if they know any good jokes that they can tell you. A word of warning though, prepare your courtesy laugh. But however bad their joke is, be sure to indulge them and laugh at it anyway. Just put yourself in the mind of a 5-year-old (or however old they are), and laugh as if you were their age.

c. Exaggerate Things

By exaggerate things, I don’t mean tell lies…that’s definitely NOT a good way to connect better with children. What I mean is to just do things ‘bigger.’ This is one of my personal favorites partly because it is such a versatile way to add silliness to almost anything. It’s a way of making something quite literally larger than life.

You Can Exaggerate By:

1. Changing your voice – High voice, low voice, funny accent
2. Exaggerating body movements (while making dinner, add salt as if you are a magician making a “special” potion)
3. Make silly faces at each other

d. Engage in Imaginative Play

I take it back; this one is my personal favorite! Imaginative play is also a very versatile tool that can be utilized in almost any situation. The trick with this one is that you will have to be a little creative some times. So, think about all of their activities throughout the day and find ways to turn it into a little game, a challenge, or some kind of exciting story.

For example, pretend to be a ninja while you take the garbage out. Tip-toe to the trash can and whisper secretively the whole time. Or if they are cleaning up their room, challenge them by saying ‘I bet I can finish vacuuming the hallway before you finish cleaning your room.’ Or if they are already playing by pretending to make ice-cream, ask them if you can buy 15 scoops and pretend to eat the ice-cream in a silly voice. Watch their faces light up with excitement!

Playing with kids allows them to express themselves creatively and is important for their developing brain. IMPORTANT TIP: When your child asks you to play with them, they are really asking you to help them grow, improve emotional strength, and learn more about the world around them.

Sometimes imaginative play can get them a little riled up. If they are getting “too silly” without being able to calm down then transition to outside time. Just let them get all that energy out by playing outside.

3. Why Silliness is Important

It’s important for kids to see you let loose every once in a while. If you are only ever barking orders, providing instruction, and being serious with them all the time, your relationship with them will eventually become strained and could even become business like. Who wants relationships like that? I know I don’t. There’s so much joy to be found in engaging in laughter and shenanigans with your kiddos.

Remember, it’s ok for you to be silly with kids and it’s ok for them to be silly with you. However, as the adult, you will have to contain and direct the silliness towards positive ends. For example, if you’re trying to help them with homework and the silliness gets a little out of control, you will need to bring it back in and help them focus. There is an appropriate time and place to be silly. Don’t be afraid to set a few boundaries around play time and stick to your non-negotiables. You can be silly and firm.

Silliness establishes repour with children. If this is all you get from this post, then I think I’ve done my job. Your kids will trust you more, feel understood by you, and your relationship will be more harmonious.

The ultimate goal here is to find ways to laugh with your kids while building your relationship with them. You can do that if you JUST ADD SILLINESS.

4. Finally, Go Be Silly!

When I make a kid laugh or smile, I feel really good about myself. I obviously need constant validation but even if you don’t need the validation, it is one of the few things in life that brings immeasurable joy. So, the silliness isn’t only for the children, it’s for you too!

You may find that you actually enjoy spending more time with the children you work with or even enjoy parenting more. You have the power to enhance the well-being of your own life and the life of those around you.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to bring joy, silliness, and laughter to the kids in your life.