Sometimes I wish I could wave a wand that would magically clean up the tornado of toys, snacks, and spills left behind by kids. Wait, you wish for the same thing?  There’s hope!

Hands down, one of the most frustrating aspects of having or taking care of children is the trail of destruction that they leave in their wake. It’s the mess! Teaching and showing a child how to clean is an important but often difficult task. Growing up without these basic skills can actually have a fairly negative impact on their adult life. A clean and organized space is often correlated with better mental health and increased productivity.

Guiding children towards a more cleanly lifestyle does not happen overnight. This is a long-game strategy type of thing. Think small drops in the bucket that eventually amount to a full bucket and a ‘full-filled life.’ See what I did there? Who knew teaching a child to clean was so important?

Through consistency over time, following the six steps below, you’ll be able to garner a cleaner kiddo. (yay!)

These steps make it more enjoyable for them and less stressful for you:

1. Make it fun!
2. Join in
3. Be specific
4. Give intentional and specific praise
5. Don’t force them (especially when they are younger than 2)
6. Let them help you

Remember it is never to early to introduce them to cleaning up behind themselves. In fact, if you sprinkle in these habits as their motor skills are developing, you’ll likely have an easier time getting them to clean as they get older.

Check out this helpful video (6 Tips for Getting Kids to Clean Up)

#1 Make it fun!

Kids love fun, so if something is exciting, they’ll be more likely to do it. AND, do it without griping or dragging their feet.

Make it a game or better yet – a challenge. Oooh, now we’re talking! Little kids love a playful challenge with their parents, nanny, or even their teacher. A friendly competition may be just the trick to get them cleaning and doing it quickly.

PRO TIP: Put on a kitchen timer and make cleaning a race. Tell the kids how much time they have and mention that whoever is done before the timer goes off is the winner. You can even buy them a little cleaning apron if they like to play dress up.

There are plenty of cleaning related toys out there to help create a positive and fun connotation with cleaning, like toy brooms, vacuums, mops etc. Introducing fun teaches them that cleaning is not bad but rather a good and important part of a healthy life.

#2 Join in!

FUN LOVES COMPANY. So, after you let them know what you need them to clean, set the timer and go clear the dishwasher or switch out the laundry. Be sure to express how much fun you are having. Even though we know those household chores are not that fun, they can be fun when you join in with your child.

You could even playfully tease them that you’re going to clear the dishwasher before they finish putting their blocks away. This is a good way to motivate a competitive response. Ultimately, activities are more enjoyable when they are shared with people you care about. By engaging in the cleaning with a playful spirit, you connect cleaning with positivity.

REMEMBER: Sing or turn on your favorite jams and dance around while you clean to make it appear fun. Play the clean-up song or one of their favorite songs! Crank up the tunes to make cleaning enjoyable for them.

#3 Be Specific

Remember, they are learning a new skill. Like all humans learning something new, they need specific and explicit instructions until they start to get the hang of it. Give them small tasks rather than blanket statements. Instead of saying ‘go clean up your toys’ say ‘I need you to pick up all the Legos on the living room floor and put them in the Lego bin.’

It may help to spoon feed them one task at a time so that you don’t overwhelm them.

Believe it or not, this type of instruction sets a framework for learning how to break larger problems down into multiple smaller ones, then tackling those smaller problems one at a time. This is a great life skill that is a must have once you enter adulthood.

With consistency, they will start to notice messes all on their own. They’ll start saying things like, ‘look at the mess’ or ‘there are a lot of dinosaurs on the floor.’ And then their little brain will remember ‘oh, I should go pick that up!’ Trust me on this, I’ve seen it happen!

Another good tactic for slightly older kids is to use photos of how a clean room or area should look. If you are constantly reminding them to ‘clean their room’, try this:

• Clean their room with them
• Take a picture of what their clean room looks like when clean
• Take individual photos of their neatly made bed, desk, and play corner
• Print these pictures out on a full sheet of paper and tape it to the back of their door

Then the next time they go to clean their room you can remind them to make sure it looks like the pictures. This is a great tip for kids who are visual learners or kids who need checklists.

#4 Give intentional praise

Reinforcing positive behavior of any kind is critical for a child’s development. This is certainly true when it comes to cleaning. Make sure your praise is not empty, it needs to be genuine and specific. They may be children but they are more intuitive than you could ever imagine.

Call out the specific behavior that you see and use ‘I noticed’ statements. For example, ‘I noticed that you stayed focused and put away all the barbies, thank you’ or ‘the living room floor is so nice and clean since you picked up your Magnatiles, thank you!’

Giving this type of praise is a form of validation and reward for them. After cleaning something up, then hearing your praise, it sinks in that the effort they put forth was noticed and appreciated. Isn’t that what we all want?!

#5 Don’t force them to clean (especially when they are younger)

When they are younger (toddler-age) and you are first introducing cleaning up after themselves, I don’t recommend forcing them to clean up. At this young age it is more likely to backfire and quickly devolve into a meltdown.

You may be thinking with this approach, ‘I’ll be cleaning up after them forever!’ Here me out: If you introduce cleaning without being forceful early on, as they get older to age 3, 4 or 5, and beyond, they will already be prepared to clean up behind themselves.

This approach is not about ignoring poor habits. But ultimately, by forcing them to clean at 1 and 2-years-old, you’re creating a negative association with cleaning – the exact opposite of what you want to do. Start by asking them to clean up, and if they don’t, then SHOW them how. You are modeling the appropriate way to clean. Younger children do what the adults and siblings around them are doing. They will see you and start mimicking your actions after a while.

I used this technique while nannying for a family that had 2 small children. An infant and a 2-year-old. After some time (it didn’t happen right away) the toddler started putting toys away and cleaning up spills all on their own. At 2 years old! They saw me cleaning without complaining or forcing them and they wanted to join in. So, it can be done!

Another point worth making if you have multiple children: If one child is cleaning up but the other one isn’t, bring positive attention to the one who IS cleaning. Don’t bring negative attention to the one who isn’t, doing so would trigger a guilt response and that would actually bolster a negative association with cleaning.

As they hear you praise the other child, they will almost always run right over and start helping as well. Then you could say, ‘Wow, I noticed that you are helping your sister clean up! Thank you.’

#6 The Power of Helping Hands

Let them help you! Kids naturally mimic the behaviors they see most often (whether we like it or not!) Children want to be helpful; it is just part of their nature. They will do as you do. There will be times when they want to help you wash dishes, fold laundry, vacuum, clean up spills…the list is endless (as you know all too well). When they offer to help, let them. I know it’s more work for you, but try to do it anyway.

The reward in letting them help is beneficial for both of you. You get to bond with your child and they feel important because they get to be the big helper.

Of course, there could be situations when it might not be safe for them to help, or a time when you REALLY DO need to finish this task quickly. But as much as you can, encourage their natural tendency toward cleaning, don’t discourage it.

With intentional praise, specific cleaning guidance, and a dash of fun, your kids will start to clean. And may even enjoy it!