Do you sometimes wish you could trade places with your toddler and nap for an hour everyday? Me too! So why won’t they just go to sleep? For many parents and childcare workers getting kids to nap is no easy feat. Some may have outgrown their naps, some may have separation anxiety, medical concerns, or they just need a nap time routine. But sometimes kids who don’t have these struggles still manage to make nap time extremely difficult.
There are two key factors I have noticed that actually help get kids to nap. Consistency and Predictability. By focusing on these factors, you are actually training their subconscious brain to prepare for sleep, and then to actually fall asleep. The repetition and familiarity of the nap time process that you create will form a link in their brain that says it is time to slow down, relax, and sleep.
Without predictability and consistency it is pretty much a guarantee that the struggle will never end.
Check out this quick video filled with naptime hacks
1. Consistency
In order to make nap time consistent, you need to repeatedly create the same set of conditions for the kids every day. If they don’t nap every day, it should be on a regular schedule of some sort. Napping at or around the same time and the same place every day is of paramount importance. Also, the lights should be dimmed or off every time. If they are afraid to nap in a dark space, then add a nightlight for comfort.
Add a favorite toy or blanket, or some item that makes them feel comfortable and safe; be sure to include this with every nap time.
Obviously, it can be hard to maintain this 100% of the time, life happens and that is expected. But for the most part, if you are able to provided consistency around naps, you will have a better time making naps a normal and welcomed part of their day.
2. Predictability
Kids love knowing what is coming next! The goal with predictability is to get their brains to recognize that a nap is coming. For example, first you give a verbal warning or a heads up, then you break them away from over stimulating or active activities, give them a snack or lunch, take them potty…you get the picture. Over time they learn to expect what is coming next, and as the count down clock strikes zero, they’re already asleep.
In partnership with consistency and predictability, the following suggestions have helped me immensely.
Limit Stimulation
This is a big one for toddlers! Their little brains and bodies can go 100 miles per hour and it can be hard for them to unplug. Once you are ready to start the routine, it would be good to limit anything that is over stimulating. Avoid letting them play video games or any tablet/iPad games that might get their little hearts pumping too much.
Pre-Nap Snack
Making sure they have some food in their bellies is an essential pre-nap activity too. It’s something that disengages them from an over stimulating activity and continues the slowing-down process. Plus, kids (as well as adults) sleep better when they are not hungry. Obviously, you will want to avoid sugary foods for the pre-nap snack. Preferably something warm, comforting and satisfying to eat. You’ll have to identify what snacks work best for the children in your care.
Make Sure They Have Gone Potty
I don’t know about you, but if I have to pee, I have a really hard time sleeping. Sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night, even if I don’t really have to go, I’ll think to myself, ‘well, since I’m up I should just go pee so I can get back to sleep easier.’ This works just the same with kids, well those who are potty trained anyways. This step is also important because it lessens the chances of a naptime accident. If they aren’t potty trained, make sure they have a clean and dry diaper or pull-up.
Play Soft Music
Playing soft music or using a white noise machine helps get kids to sleep and by using it at a predictable point in the pre-nap-time process, it becomes even more effective. It triggers another subconscious brain signal that further slows them down, mentally and physically, all in preparation for sleep. If you don’t have much music available, the music app Spotify literally has a lullaby station full of kids nap time music and white noise sounds.
Verbal Warning/Heads Up
The biggest tip I can give is to start this process about 45 minutes before you expect them to lay down. Going straight from bouncing off the walls immediately to sleeping soundly is not only unlikely, it’s almost unfair to expect kids to do it. You can start off by giving them a time limit warning. Say something like, ‘Okay, in about 10 minutes we are going to lay down for a nap time.’ Keep in mind that kids have no frame of reference for time so make sure to use your fingers as a visual cue to show them the number 10. By this time we should already be about 35 minutes into the naptime routine but you are simply letting them know it’s coming in a timeframe that is easier for them to understand.
Their brain needs to know that play time is ending soon. And as they become conditioned to the process, this moment will eventually turn into them taking nap time steps before you even have to tell them. Imagine that!
If they try to stall by asking for things repeatedly, gently but firmly remind them that it’s naptime and lay them back down.
The Five Senses
In case you haven’t noticed yet, in preparing them for nap time we have effectively affected all five of their senses in order to train their brain.
- Touch – soft blanket, favorite toy
- Sight – familiar place, lights dimmed or off
- Taste – Pre-nap snack
- Hearing – verbal warning, decreased stimulation, soft music
- Smell – Pre-nap snack
When preparing a child for nap time it is important to leverage all of their senses. By doing this, in a sense you are ‘overwhelming’ their brain with sleepiness. Every signal path from their body to their brain is telling them ‘SLEEP!’
Other Tips and Tricks
- If they are old enough to sleep on their stomach, gently rub their back
- Run your fingers through their hair
- Another secret trick is to softly rub behind their ear
- If they are an infant or small enough, rock them for a while or sing to them
Partner with Parents
If you are a nanny or babysitter, please partner with the parents to make sure your nap-time plan aligns with their own. It could send mixed messages to the kids if they are being conditioned to two different routines or completely different expectations around naptime.
Also, make sure to have a discussion regarding what kinds of safe physical touch the parents are comfortable with. As mentioned earlier, rubbing a child’s back, or behind their ear, can be helpful tools. But please make sure this kind of touch is ok with the parents first.
Finally, Keep In Mind
Each child is different. Some elements will be more effective for some kids than others. As you develop your pre-nap-time routine you will have to be observant towards what seems to be effective and towards what just isn’t working.
Also, some kids outgrow naps very early and other kids nap all the way until they start kindergarten. Paying attention to where your child is in this spectrum will be important as well. Maybe they just don’t need to nap anymore, and they are ready for a full day.
In other cases, there may be medical interferences that prevent them from napping such as ADHD medications, allergies, cold/flu etc. Make sure to talk to your pediatrician if you have concerns related to your child’s sleep and/or nap time.
Lastly, put it out of your mind that they HAVE to go to sleep every single time you lay them down. Unfortunately, you can’t literally flip a switch and make them catch some ZZZ’s (I wish I had that switch!). Keeping this mindset will save you from the pressure of thinking ‘OMG they aren’t going to sleep! Why aren’t they sleeping!’ If nothing else they can just lie there quietly and learn how to just ‘be at rest’, which is a good thing for adults to learn how to do let alone children.
With that said, each time you lay them down for a nap, a diligent effort should be given to get them to fall asleep. Children, especially toddlers, need 11 to 14 hours of sleep every day. Most kids won’t sleep that long during the night, hence the importance of naptime. Napping helps their bodies grow, their minds rest, and it’s essential in avoiding the ‘too-tired’ meltdown that inevitably comes a few hours before bedtime.
So, if they can’t or they just outright refuse to sleep, here is something I like to tell them: ‘You don’t have to go to sleep just close your eyes and rest.’ And guess what…most of the time they end up falling asleep any way.
shandacerobertson
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